More thoughts about Mother's Day

On my blog roll, I read what Pregnantly Paused had to say about Mother's Day and she included a post by The Messy Middle entitled "An open letter to pastors (A non-mom speaks about Mother's Day).  The post has over 400 comments that are just as thought provoking.  Both posts are a good read and thanks to Pregnantly Paused for sharing it with us.

Sunday was awkward.  Last year, Mother's Day was handled well and I shared details about it in my last post.  I walked into church and noticed how empty it was for the second service.  I figured families were getting together for Mother's Day celebrations, but in the back of my mind I thought that perhaps some women were possibly staying away to spend their own time with God because their church experiences weren't very positive.  Worship was fine, elder prayer was okay, but the elder preaching on Sunday wanted to acknowledge the mother's on a whim before he gave his sermon.  Without much thought, he made a joke, which I didn't catch, but J did.  Then, he asked for the men to stand up and applaud the women.  I was so confused because it's typically the mom's who stand up for the applause.  While being pregnant, I'm a mom already because I'm worrying like a mom, I've made sacrifices to have this child, and am continually considering the needs of the baby above my own.   If asked to stand up, I would not, because I know firsthand how hurt it can make others feel very unintentionally.  It didn't feel right being seated and clapped for either.  Once J realized he was supposed to stand, he didn't feel compelled to participate, but he eventually stood with a friend harmlessly encouraging him to stand on my behalf.  After J sat down, we gave each other "the look" and we knew exactly what the other was thinking. 

I accept MD at church for what it is and hope the church can be mindful to remember those saving for fertility treatments, who are looking for a surrogate, the mothers of stillborn babies, failed adoptions, runaways, foster moms, spiritual moms, single women who are patiently waiting for a husband and who long to have a family, for the single pregnant moms, the motherless moms, and what about those who had an abusive mother or father growing up?  The holidays trigger so many different issues on so many different levels.

After church, we had J's parents and grandmother over for a seafood boil.  It was my first attempt.  Thanks YM for the recipe!  It turned out to be delicious and we'll make it again for my dad on Father's Day.

Remember the infertile on Mother's Day

Mother's Day can be an emotional day for women. 

I read this post by Dr. Moore last year about Mother's Day and it's spot on.
http://www.russellmoore.com/2011/05/05/remember-the-infertile-on-mothers-day/

Another helpful post is by Justin Taylor, http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/justintaylor/2011/05/06/infertility-and-mothers-day/  because it sums up that this holiday can be hard for all kinds of people and for all kinds of reasons. 

I recall not wanting to attend church last year on Mother's Day because I didn't know how they were going to address it, but J said it would be alright.  We were new to the church and didn't know how they operated, so I expected the worst.  To my surprise, I was actually pleased with how it was handled.  The elder prayer was thoughtful because he remembered to pray for those who would find this day difficult and I teared up.  Next, the pastor was up, and he simply said, "Happy Mother's Day" to the congregation and went on with the sermon.  There was no huge display or production and I so needed that after experiencing an ectopic a month before.  How have your church experiences been?

If you're dreading Mother's Day because of IF (infertility),  I truly hope this will be your last one without positive results or good news.  If you have kid(s) or have one on the way, "Happy Mother's Day!"