3D animation of how IVF works

How IVF works...

Of course, I watch this after I go through IVF. 

Heartbeat @ 7 weeks!

Our baby's heart is strong and beating twice as fast as my heart!  It took Janice, u/s tech, a minute to find the baby because the uterus was hiding underneath my bladder.  Janice said the baby must be a girl because she was giving her a hard time and being stubborn.  We laughed!  After oohing and awwing at the flickering heartbeat on the screen, Janice was able to capture the baby's heartbeat for a quick second.  It was the most amazing sound I ever heard, I teared up, and felt so much joy!  The baby is 5mm and doing well!

 

The baby's heartbeat is located between the 2 white dashes.  Along the white line is the heartbeat doppler.

We met with Dr. M for our last consult and it was bitter sweet.  Dr. M asked how I was feeling and if our parents knew the news.  I told him that I felt great, just fatigued, and how our parents are thrilled.  Dr. M enjoyed hearing our parent's response and shared his thoughts of how having a baby doesn't just affect the couple, but everyone around us including family and friends.  Dr. M had a pleased look on his face, was happy for us, and sensed that he receives much pleasure in helping couples grow their family.

I asked Dr. M my final questions.  The most pressing concern was about tapering off my PIO (progesterone in oil) and estrogen patches.  I had fears of miscarriage once I stopped taking progesterone and estrogen, but Dr. M reassured me by saying my chances of m/c dropped from 15% to 5% by hearing the heartbeat.  My ovaries have been working hard to help the baby, then the placenta takes over between 6-9 weeks to maintain the hormones.  Dr. M is conservative in how long he keeps patients on PIO and estrogen and said I have an ample supply in my system until the placenta can cover it.

Towards the end of our conversation, I presented Dr. M with his gift and he liked it.  He said he would share it with the girls, but told him he didn't have to since the girls have their own and I pulled one out of the bag to show him.  I told him he had the better candy though.  I was happy Dr. M knew what the tag meant, unlike J, and he explained it in his own words.  It was time to say our good-byes and I cried.  Dr. M said I would be in good hands with my ob/gyn and said to send him a picture to add to his baby board.  While he walked us to meet with Deb, NP, I asked if I could give him a hug.  Dr. M smiled slightly and opened his arms.  I gave him a big hug and Dr. M shook J's hand.  I was happy to get my hug!

Deb was waiting for us and presented us with an April calendar for tapering off my meds.  According to the calendar, April 19 is the last day of PIO, estrogen patches, and taking metformin.  YAHOO!!!!!!  I told Deb the 19th is a day after my birthday and she said it was her birthday gift to me.  We hugged and said our good-bye's.  I gave D her present and she called the phlebotomists over to pick up their little gift.  Unfortunately, Michelle (embryologist), was at lunch and we didn't get to see her.

Dr. M released me as a patient and we walked out with a happy ending to our new beginning!  We thank God for providing our baby after TTC for 5 years.  I realize we could've been in a very different place if IVF didn't take and if I got a BFN (big fat negative).  I'm truly humbled and my heart goes out to my IF forum friends and bloggers who got a bfn this cycle.  I admire your strength and courage for not giving up on your heart's desire and pressing on in faith and hope.

What a roller-coaster ride IF has been and the ride has come to an end.  We've longed to start the next chapter of our story and will enjoy this pregnancy.  Thank you for being with us on this ride.

1st ultrasound!

Our 1ww to ultrasound after the 2ww was just as nerve wrecking!  Around midnight, on Saturday evening, I was spotting!  I yelled out to James and he came rushing over.  Panic, fear, and worry engulfed me because my worst nightmare became a reality.  Different thoughts were running through my mind: "am I miscarrying", "i think i'm too far along for implementation bleeding", "please God, let it stop!"  I was terrified and cried some while J was trying to comfort me.  With IF, I'm always going to worry a little more.  Really, I'll worry through the entire pregnancy until I feel the baby lying on my chest on delivery day.  Thankfully, it wasn't a lot of bleeding and since it was late, I didn't have much time to dwell on it because I was physically exhausted.  We got ready for bed and J prayed.  I wanted peace of mind and Monday's ultrasound seemed so far away.  I had to trust God and surrender the baby to him.  I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep. 

Sunday  morning, I left a message at the clinic and quickly got a call back from an RE on duty.  The doctor asked me some questions and told me to call again if the bleeding and cramping continued.  The RE wasn't overly concerned and she told me to rest with minimal activity around the house.  I cancelled breakfast with an old friend who was visiting from out of town and we missed church.  I slept all afternoon and J took awesome care of me.  I was anxious about spotting again and a friend reminded me to "cast all my anxieties on him because he cares for you" - 1 Peter 5:7.  I meditated on that verse all day and PTL, I didn't spot! Thanks M!

This morning, J and I went in for our 8am ultrasound appointment.  With traffic, we were 10 mins late.  After checking in, we were greeted by Babs (phlebotomist), Deb (nurse), and Delphine (ultrasound tech) ... they were wondering when we'd arrive because they wanted to see the picture!  They were so cute!  Delphine showed us the gestational sac and yolk developing inside the uterus...praise God!  The yolk provides nourishment for the baby inside the gestational sac.  The yolk size is .34 cm and gestational sac size is 1.10 cm.  After the u/s, we waited for our turn to meet with Deb and Michelle (embryologist) came out to see our u/s picture and gave me a big hug.   She's so sweet!  She had to get back to work and continue babysitting other embies. 

The gestational sac and yolk is the almond shaped nut in the middle.  According to babycenter.com, our baby is the size of a sesame seed and looks more like a tiny tadpole than a human.  From 4 wks until 10 wks, all of our baby's organs will begin to develop and some will begin to function.  Amazing!

With pregnancy, many blood vessels are being formed with the growth of the placenta.  Deb believes the spotting was due to a ruptured blood vessel in the cervix.  I've been constipated (i know...tmi) and the straining could have caused it to occur.  The u/s would have shown if there was bleeding and Delphine didn't see any effects of it so the baby is OK!  Here's a link to an article about the different types of pregnancy bleeding:  http://www.welcomebabyhome.com/pregnancy/pregnancy_bleeding_pregnancy.htm  We're so thankful we saw the baby doing well this morning.  We'll see his or her heartbeat on the 15th!  We're 5 weeks and 4 days pregnant and our due date is October 30 or 31st! 

My OHSS is better!  The fluid is gone from my abdominal cavity but my ovaries are still swollen by the pregnancy.  My right ovary is bigger with 3 cysts and my left ovary is the same as before with 2.

I had more bw done on Friday at Quest to check the following:
fasting blood sugar = 83
hemoglobin = 5.4
TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) = 2.93, between 1-2 is ideal.
Dr. M increased my Synthroid dose to 75 mg.

After our 2nd ultrasound on March 15, we have our last consult scheduled with Dr. M until we return for our FET (frozen egg transfer).  I feel like it's too early to release me to an OB/GYN, but his job is complete.  It's so bittersweet!  I'll most likely cry on the way out.   I think Dr. M likes his personal space, but wonder if he'll let me give him a big hug. 

Thank you to the Tsangs for the beautiful flowers and KK for stopping by with A & J and blessing us with all the delicious meals! 

17dpt = 4 1/2 weeks

Yesterday, I had an u/s (ultrasound) to see if my ovaries shrunk and to check in on how much fluid was left in my abdominal cavity.  My ovaries are the same size from last weeks u/s, but I have less fluid on my right side.   Due to my pcos, my cysts on ovaries are waxing and waning between my two ovaries and are still enlarged due to the fertility meds.  My last u/s showed that I had 2 or 3 enlarged cysts on my right ovary before and yesterday, I had 1.  My left ovary showed 3 enlarged cysts.  My tech, Janice, said she likes to see a gradual decline is size and so far so good!  J looked at my uterus and it was too soon to see anything.  J mentioned a heartbeat could be seen with a 1,200 beta and that will be in a few weeks.

I didn't get any bw done to check my beta level and it was nice break for my veins!  They don't want to get caught up with the numbers and I guess that's a good thing because it can get obsessive.  They saw a good rise with the second beta so I guess they were pleased, but I am curious to know what my levels are.  I have no choice but to let it go.
 
Our next appointment is on Monday, 3/5,  for an u/s to see our pregnancy in the uterus, look for a developing gestational sac, and find out if we have 1 or 2 growing! I'm hoping the embies are where they're supposed to be and they haven't floated up to my right tube.  I hate worrying about ectopics and pray against it.  I sat in a special position for 2 hours after ET (egg transfer) to prevent an ectopic and hope that helped, but nothing is guaranteed.  Please pray the sac and babies are developing nicely in the uterus.

Interestingly, I'm 4 1/2 weeks pregnant!  I was confused because my 2ww (week wait) just ended and I didn't understand how I was 4 1/2 weeks already. RE's consider egg development the beginning of pregnancy - so when I was Follistim - my pregnancy began!  By egg retrieval (ER), which was Feb 9, I was already 2 weeks pregnant and it's also our date of conception since the sperm and egg met.   
By Monday, I'll be 5 1/2 weeks pregnant and then the following week to 10 days, we'll see a heart beat!  Our estimated due date is the end of October or the beginning of November! 

GLORY!

It's 13dpt on Feb 24.  My estrogen is 2747 and progesterone is over 200.  Our beta, the pregnancy hormone, is 157!  WE'RE PREGNANT and terribly thrilled and humbled by it all!

I have a confession...We've known since Wed that we're pregnant, but didn't want to make the announcement until I knew my beta level was on the rise.  I <3 my IVF team!  Without my knowledge, my embryologist, Michelle, ordered my beta 2 days ahead of schedule and included it in with my routine estrogen and progesterone check.  As usual, my NP, Deb, called me in the afternoon with my estrogen and progesterone results.  D continued to tell me that M was next to her and that she had ordered my beta early because she was anxious to know!  My beta was 87!  First of all, I was in complete shock because I didn't expect M's brilliant move to surprise me with an early beta test and was touched that she couldn't wait while J and I could.  LOL!  So ironic!  I cried tears of joy and couldn't stop thanking them.  As soon as I got off the phone with D, I thanked and worshiped the Lord!  I texted J and asked if he could call me.  He called right away and heard me crying so he was worried that I had some bad news.  To his relief and joy, it was tears of joy and good news for a change.

J and I went in this morning for our 2nd beta and we had a warm welcome and congratulations from my phlebotomists and ultrasound tech.   One phlebotomists, Babs, gave me a big hug!  She's my favorite because she suggests local restaurants to try and she doesn't hurt me.  B practically met most of my family and friends, and reminds me that she hasn't met my mom yet because B was off that day.  B met my dad twice already and he made an impression on her since he came in dressed in his suit and his fedora in hand.  B mentions how much she likes him and his style. 

We've told our family the good news and that's been fun!  A big THANK YOU to those who have read, followed, and had sticky thoughts and prayers for us on this roller-coaster ride of a journey!

Glory to God!  I thought this day would never come after 5 long years of suffering and TTC.  We're still not out of the woods yet since it's early, but we're going to enjoy every day we have with the life or lives growing inside.

These words from my devotional resonate with me:
But Paul wrote that "if we are to share his glory, we must also share in his suffering" (Romans 8:17).  To begin to grasp what this will mean for us, we must see that "suffering of Jesus" is an alternative term for the "glory of Jesus." Again and again in Scripture, Jesus' death by crucifixion is referred to as his glorification.  For example, Jesus said, "The time has come for the Son of Man to enter into his glory" (John 12:23).  He wasn't yet ascending to heaven; he was heading to the Cross.  Unimaginable glory was put on display through the appalling suffering of the Cross.  His greatest humiliation was also his ultimate exaltation.  Suffering is glory in God's economy.  They are not at opposite ends of the spectrum, but mysteriously intertwined. 

Honestly, I haven't focused on the pathway of glory in the midst of my suffering because I didn't sign up to experience IF, MC, and grief.  Really, I don't want to suffer at all!  My suffering has slowly chipped away at my pride and caused me to wrestle with a lot of things.  I still worry and am afraid that something will go wrong, but it's not helpful.  I'm learning to trust God with this and covet your thoughts and prayers!

This message was kept secret for centuries and generations past, but now it has been revealed to his own holy people.  For it has pleased God to tell his people that the riches and glory of Christ are for you Gentiles (add your name here), too.  For this is the secret:  Christ lives in you, and this is your assurance that you will share in his glory.  

Colossians 1: 26-27

In his kindness God called you to his eternal glory by means of Jesus Christ.  After you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. 

1 Peter 5:10

9dpt3dt

We've missed a few weeks of church due to BWs (blood work) and our ET (egg transfer); it was so good to worship yesterday and catch up with some friends!  I was filled with the holy spirit when we sang, "Forever Reign."  Take a listen:

Today is our 9dpt3dt (9 days post transfer of a 3 day transfer) and I officially have late OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome).  It is a side-effect from some forms of fertility meds whereby the ovaries get enlarged and fluid is built up in the abdominal cavity.  There are 3 levels of OHSS - mild, moderate, and severe.  I fluctuate between moderate and severe.  Dr. M doesn't think I need to be hospitalized unless I can't breathe, urinate, or gain too much weight.  I'm thankful my OHSS decided to show up late and not earlier during ER (egg retrieval) or ET (egg transfer) and interfere with our timeline.  For more info: http://infertilityblog.blogspot.com/2011/02/ovarian-hyperstimulation.html

According to: http://www.advancedfertility.com/ovarian-hyperstimulation.htm, PCOS women are at a higher risk to get OHSS than the average IVF patient.  

My symptoms started over the weekend and they include:

• Mild weight gain (4lbs)
• Nausea 
• Severe abdominal pain
• Severe bloating
• Severe nausea (so much that you can’t keep down any food or fluids)
• Vomiting

My treatment:

• Drink at least 10 c. of electrolyte water a day
• Increase sodium intake
• No pelvic exercise (in layman's terms - no sex)
• No excess fluids

I woke up this morning feeling very uncomfortable and nauseated.  JP picked me up for BW this morning and I'm so glad she drove me because she pulled over just in time for me to vomit.  I felt so much better and thought maybe this was a good sign!  After my BW, I asked to see my NP (nurse practitioner) and told her what had happened.  She had me do an ultrasound and more BW to check my electrolytes, sodium levels, and internal organs.  My ultrasound showed that my ovaries aren't too enlarged so there was no need to worry.  My NP weighed me (I gained 4 lbs.), took my blood pressure, and measured my belly.  Dr. M did an abdomen check and confirmed that fluid is stuck in my abdomen cavity because it was soft to the touch and it made a hollow sound when he knocked on my belly.   Dr. M didn't want to get my hopes up, but he said that late OHSS is a good sign of pregnancy.  Per, http://www.drmalpani.com/ovarian-hyperstimulation-syndrome.htm:

"Interestingly, the worst cases of hyperstimulation syndrome occur when a woman becomes pregnant. This is because her placenta is making HCG and stimulating the ovaries to continue to pour out large amounts of estrogen-rich fluid. So although it is a very unpleasant side effect to endure, hyperstimulation syndrome often means good news."

This afternoon, my NP called with my BW results.  Estrogen is 1,945 and progesterone is 173.  My levels, in addition to the fluid is causing the OHSS.  My sodium level is low and need to increase my salt intake in order to help pull the fluid to where it needs to be and leave my abdomen.  I thought salt causes water retention, but with OHSS, salt pulls the fluid from the abdomen.  With OHSS my blood vessels have become leaky and I'm leaking fluid into the surrounding tissues. Salt helps keep the fluid in the vessels helping to evenly distribute the fluid in my body instead of it gathering in my ovaries, abdomen, or lungs. The water build up makes the symptoms worse.  As soon as my call ended, I opened a new bag of salty organic potato chips.  Delicious!  I go again on Wed morning for 2 BWs and ultrasound.

We spent a lot of time at Dr. M's office this morning and it was well worth it.  Thanks JP for being with me!  By the time we left, it was time for lunch and we ate at Red Robin.  Yum!  We have our 1st BETA in 4 days!  I'm anxious to POAS (pee on a stick), but J wants to wait.  I respect his thoughts on waiting.  I'm glad he's the strong one.   Thanks for your thoughts and prayers for a BFP (big fat positive)!

7dpt3dt

We're on our 7th day post transfer from a 3 day transfer and implantation is complete.  Today, cells will eventually become the placenta and the fetus have begun to develop!  I felt strong cramps the past two days, especially yesterday, and it's subsided today.

It's easy to feel anxious with each passing day.  Our beta test is approaching in less than a week and I need courage.  We've prayed, wrestled, and surrendered our desires to the Lord throughout our IF (infertiity) battle the past 5 years.  We've done all we can possibly do that's within our disposal and that's all we can do.  The rest is up God and he is bigger than any "army" we encounter because he is the almighty!  It's not for my sake, but God's to build his kingdom because as my little sister reminded me...he cares about the future generations. 

2 Chronicles 20: 15, 17:
This is what the LORD says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's. 17 You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem (O Liz). Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.' "

2nd blood work result

A nurse who I'm not familiar with called and said my estrogen and progesterone levels looked good. I fished to get specific numbers but she didn't share them with me, plus I had to catch a movie so I didn't flat out ask her for them. Going again on Mon and hope my numbers continue to rise over the weekend. I feel like my normal self with some mild cramping, which I hear is normal and a good sign. I wish I could know what's going on inside my body! So far, I'm 6dpt3dt = 6 days post transfer for a 3rd day transfer.

According to www.nyufertilitycenter.org/ivf/embryo_transfer, implantation continues 6 days past a 3-Day Transfer.

Did I need to start bed rest again? An IVF sister who's read lots of studies shared that prolonged resting doesn't affect implantation. The way she heard it best explained is that your uterus doesn't have air in the middle - it's more like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. When ET (egg transfer) happens, the embryo is stuck in the pb&j and implementation happens with the interaction between your embryo growth and your uterine lining. So, bottom line is that I don't need to worry about bed resting again. I guess this is one of the many reasons why Dr. M wanted to see the triple layer in my uterus and used only the good quality embies.

It's all so complicated that I'm glad God is in control. All this information goes over my head, but I am intrigued by it all.

The illustration made me hungry.  Keep those sticky thoughts and prayers coming!

BW results

My NP (nurse practitioner), Deb, called with good news...my estrodial is 1,874 and progesterone is 139.7.  Four days after the transfer, hormone levels drop dramatically so I'm instructed to up my PIO (progesterone in oil) dose to 1 cc and start my 2 Vivelle (estrogen) patches tomorrow night.  My PIO shots are creating some soreness, but it's bearable.  It helps to massage the oil into the muscle for a few minutes and use a heating pad if needed.  Praying my levels increase and for 'sticky' thoughts and prayers. So far, so good! 

BW - blood work, coffee, and bed rest

Went in for BW to check my estrogen and progesterone levels this morning with DH (darling husband).  Left home at 7am and arrived by 8am.  Left the office by 8:15 am and stopped by Christine's to get breakfast before DH went to work.  I've really enjoyed eating at different breakfast joints because it's my favorite meal of the day and I allow myself 1 cup of coffee.  I've read mixed reviews on coffee drinking while TTC and my RE (reproductive endocrinologist) says 1 c. is OK, but I decided to stop.  I stopped drinking coffee at home and purposely don't buy hazelnut flavored coffee creamer to keep me away from my vice.    But, it's so tempting though when I have access to creamer, like at home group.  I give in and let myself drink a little bit.

Bed rest is over!  I stayed in bed Sun-Tues and walked down the stairs this morning to go to BW.  The first thing I wanted to check on was my gerber daisy plant.  J hasn't watered it, but it was fine.  For the longest time, the little one took the longest time to sprout and to my delight, it greeted me with a big bloom.  I teared up...it's my hormones.

To commemorate my last day of bed rest, I'm posting some pics of food.  I LOVE FOOD!

                                           DH made me breakfasts!

                                           Cookies from Soo and YM...yum!

                                           Casserole from the Solt's and
                                            sides from YM...yum!

                                      Choc Caramel centered cupcakes
                                      from Sarah...delish!

                                          Soft pretzel bites w/cheese
                                          from Joyce...hit the spot!

Missing from the shot list is Korean food because I scarfed it down and didn't stop to take pics.

3 frost babies!

Our embryologist, Michelle, just called with good news.  She froze 3 healthy embies that are good enough to come back for later.  She's holding on to our other embies for one more day to see if they blastocyst, but they're not as advanced as she'd like them to be in order to freeze.  M is weeding out the embies that could cause another MC so she's being cautious to pick the best ones.  Per M, 40% of good quality embies make it to the freezing stage and our # is 55% since we've used or are going to use 5 out of the 9 embies.  When TTC again, the plan is to thaw 2 and if 1 doesn't make it, we'll have back up.  :)

I've found a couple online communities to engage with and it's been a source of encouragement to be with a group of women are currently going through a Jan/Feb 2012 IVF treatment.  Some ladies are further along than others and some are just beginning their stimulation process and it feels SO good to connect with others who know what I'm going through and belong.  One IVF sister said that I'm PUPO.  I didn't know what that acronym meant so I looked it up and it stands for Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise.  I like it!  I printed out a list of IF (infertility) acronyms so I'm down with the lingo in the forums. 

J and I go in for our 1st blood work tomorrow to check my hormone levels.  I look forward to stretching my legs tomorrow and getting out of the house, even if it's just for a few hours.  1st BETA test will be on Fri, 2/24.  There are mixed feelings in the forum about taking a POAS (Pee On A Stick - home pregnancy test) before the beta.  What should I do?  The pro is that it could be a BFP (Big Fat Positive)!  Or, a false positive or a BFN (Big Fat Negative).  Do I take a chance?  Maybe I should just wait until our BETA to be sure.  Round and round, I go!

I'm enjoying bed rest because J is waiting on me hand and foot!  Breakfast, lunch and dinner in bed has been nice.  J's doing an excellent job taking care of us.  :) Thank you family and friends who stopped by with meals, snacks, desserts, fruit, movies, books, and CD's! 

BBL - be back later!

Waiting begins

Our embryologist, M, greeted us with a status report of our embies and said they continued to divide in the past 24 hrs.  4 were excellent, the others were good, and 1 didn't look good anymore.  She doesn't believe in freezing "crappy" embies even though the office could get more money for it, but it's not in their best interest or ours if they do that.  By Wednesday, M will see which ones are blastocysts and decide on which ones will make it to the freezer.

The 2 fresh ones M chose for today were grouped with 3 others.   M looked under the microscope and picked her two favorites, but they slipped away from her when she tried to pick them up and they were shuffled again.  M needed to look underneath the microscope again to tell them apart again.  The second time around, she told them to "stay still" and they did.  :)  The transfer went well.  The entire procedure took about 5-10 minutes and we were able to watch our 2 embies get transferred on the screen.  It was cool!  The most uncomfortable part was having to get the speculum set up and the slight discomfort with inserting the catheter, but the ibuprofen really helped.   M said our embies should attach within 20 mins after the transfer so I was able to empty my bladder after 20 mins with a bed pan.  My bladder needed to be full in order for Dr. M to see my bladder on the ultrasound, which helped him to accurately place the embies.  M shared that another office in the area doesn't have access to ultrasounds on the weekends and the doctor's go in blind for the weekend transfers.   It's absurd how some offices will chance plopping embies in the dark!  Dr. M is very thorough and I appreciate his attention to detail.

My doctor feels like he's on the conservative side regarding bed rest and recommends one day.  Dr M. had me hang out for 2 hours until we could go home and passed the time by watching the Food Network.  An hour later, we came home and I walked up the stairs to sit up in bed.  I won't be going down the stairs again until our Wed blood work appointment. 

M gave me my new directions for this week:
Sunday - Wednesday:  Continue .5 cc progesterone in oil shots
Wednesday: Blood work
Thursday:  Increase progesterone to 1 cc and begin Vivelle (estrogen) patches
Friday: Blood work

Because of my history, M wants to put some preventative measures in place by increasing my progesterone and add the estrogen patches to help balance out my hormones and try to prevent a MC.  My estrogen level can't stay at 1,300 forever and it'll begin to spiral down. Instead of letting the levels plummet, the meds will balance me out.  I may experience some moodiness, spotting, cramping coming on and feel like my cycle may come, but she told me to continue my regiment no matter what.  She was emphatic about this because another client had decided on her own accord to stop  progesterone and estrogen patches which resulted in a MC. 

I asked how many of their IVF cases resulted with an ectopic and they haven't had any.  Dr. M had me sit up in a recliner like position with my knees up and slightly together.  The slightly upright, reclining position prevents an ectopic because the embies would have to roll up against gravity to make it into a tube.  It's definitely worth the lower back pain!

Waiting will come with it's own challenges and we'll have to prepare ourselves for the news.  I'm learning to completely trust God and put my confidence in him because he cares about the future generations and nothing is too hard for him.  God upheld everything a 100% before Adam and Eve sinned...there was no infertility, sadness, and death.  Since sin entered in, we live in a fallen world and life is messy.  Praying God will redeem our suffering and "by you my sorrow is turned into dancing; you have taken away my clothing of grief, and given me robes of joy;" which only Jesus could do (Psalm 30:11 BBE).  In the meantime, we're staying positive and holding onto hope.  We'll know the outcome of this journey in 12 days - the day before our 6th wedding anniversary.   We're praying our embies attached to the uterus and our additional embies will look good to freeze. 

The black hole up top is my full bladder.  I can sort of see a face...the embies are lit up in the middle (looks like a nose) and to the right of them is a horizontal light which is the catheter.  J sees 2 dashes ~ the left are the embies and the right one is the catheter.  Can you see it?

                           Holding onto hope!

Embroyos transferred this morning

Good morning everyone, this is J again. The transfer went well. We have ultrasound pic after the transfer it is quite amazing. I'm sure L will update pics soon. We are still at the hospital because L has to stay in the same position for 2 hours after procedure, which only took about 5 to 10 minutes. We have about 1/2 hour to go then can go home and straight to bed rest for L in the next 24 hours. It is quite amazing to see the whole process unfold as we saw it on the ultrasound screen. Now, we need prayer that at least one of the Embroyos will be embedded in L's uterus and properly develops. We will have the pregnancy test done on 02/24 to find out if we have a successful pregnancy! Hopefully so... All we can do is keep praying!

Better than good looking embies

M, our embryologist, called this morning and asked how I was doing.  I said, "good" and she said, "you're doing great!"  M said she's hard to please and doesn't impress easily, but she was impressed with the quality of our embies!  M shared a lot of bad news this year and she was happy to bring some good news for a change.  My heart goes out to the couples who didn't get the results they needed to press forward. 

The embryologist ranks embies by using the following scale:  Excellent, Very good, Good, Reasonable, Fair, and Poor.  The embies were moved to fresh media to start the weeding out process and there was no bad choice amongst the group because 8 embies are EXCELLENT quality and 1 embie is VERY GOOD!  M said they're developing quite nicely and they've showed signs of them already cleaved...no idea what that means. M doesn't believe in lying to clients and she tells it like it is...I like her!  In her experience, she's seen everything go 100% right resulting without a baby and things go 100% wrong resulting with a baby.  But, so far, she has no worries for us.

Transfer day schedule:
5:00 - Take Synthroid and and get ready (no lotions with fragrance, no cologne/perfume, no nailpolish, no hairspray)
6:00 - Eat breakfast
6:45 - Leave the house
7:15 - Finish 4, 8 oz. glasses of water and take 800 mg ibuprofen
8:00 - Arrive with a full bladder at Dr. M's office
8:15 - Transfer
8:30 -10:30 - Hang out and get blood work done before heading home
11:30 - Bed rest

J and I are thankful to have access to modern medicine and that it's a means to an end, but we don't put our hope in it.  The foundation of our hope is secure no matter the outcome.  We entrust our lives to the One who holds the future no matter what happens and we put our confidence in him.  May God be glorified!

9 Embies!

Our embryologist, M, called this morning and out of the 11 eggs retrieved, 10 matured.  She added sperm and 9 out 10 fertilized normally. M knows which membrane gave her a hard time because it didn't want to 'pop' and so it didn't fertilize. Today, the embryos are single celled and tomorrow they will start to divide, thus beginning the weeding out process to pick M's favorite embryos as some will look better than others.  The 2 healthiest embies will be implanted on Sunday and the rest will be frozen.  Each day something can go wrong and every day is a new hurdle, but M reassured me that she doesn't see a problem today.  :) Also, in most patients, average quality embryos can create a baby, but she's also seen 'horrible' quality embryos create a beautiful baby.  I have 9 embies to choose from and that's great news!

Last night's regiment:
Take anti-biotic, 4 steroids, and begin Progesterone in oil shot. 

I'm feeling much better today...not as bloated and uncomfortable. Thanks your reassuring emails, texts, thoughts, and prayers!  Please continue to pray...for the embryos to divide well and that we'll have some good looking embies.

Egg Retrieval Day

This is J, the wife is doing well after her procedure. We were able to get 11 Eggs retrieved which the Embroyologist said was ideal. I did my deed as well and looks good on that front too. The Embroyologist will give us a call tomorrow to let us know how the Embroyos look. We are hopeful that everything goes well. Dr. M was very happy how everything went and we were happy to see him happy :). Keep us in prayer! Hopeful that the Transfer will be as scheduled on Sunday.

It's happening!

Ultrasound this morning showed 1 - 20mm, 2 - 18mm, some 16 mms, 15, and 14's.  There are 10 eggs on each ovary and egg retrieval is on Thursday!  Egg stimulation is over and I'm looking forward to emptying these tubs.  I'm shot free until Thursday and I don't need to go in tomorrow for ultrasound and blood work...it's a much needed break!

Estrogen level today is 1,325 and progesterone is 0.6.  Since my estrogen level is good and progesterone level is low, I needed my HCG trigger shot in the butt tonight at 8 pm.  HCG is known as the “pregnancy hormone.”  HCG is produced in early pregnancy by the cells that will eventually form the placenta.  HCG maintains the corpus luteum which is responsible for progesterone production during early pregnancy.

Thursday egg retrieval schedule:
6:00 am - Take anti-biotic while fasting
6:20 am - Arrive at Dr. M's office
6:50 - 8:30 am - Egg retrieval under anesthesia and J to provide
                               sample
Begin progesterone in oil shots

Sunday is implementation!  I'm glad we can move forward as all the details have worked out.  God's been faithful through this journey and we have hope.   Thanks for your positive thoughts, love, support, and prayers. 

Making progress!

I received some good news this morning...my uterus lining has a triple layer!  Ultrasound tech, D, said it looked like the endometrium organized itself and she could see it looking better.  Also, she counted 8 eggs on each ovary. My estrogen level is 892.  Ovary stimulation is almost complete and I'll be going in everyday this week since egg retrieval is tentatively scheduled for Thursday or Friday.  Please continue to pray for healthy eggs, healthy thickening of the uterine lining, healthy sperm and no complications for transfer.  I'm relieved and thankful we can proceed as scheduled.  Through the ups and downs of this journey, I'm hanging on this roller coaster ride by God's grace and mercy and relying on the one who's unmoving and unchanging.

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock" (Matthew 7:24-25).

Thin lining

The endometrium lining is not as thick as my doctor would like.   He stated that it should be a trilayer thickness (indicates a good response to the estrogen) before transfer could take place.  A thicker lining is needed for optimal results since our 2 embryos need to implant in the uterus.  I believe if the lining is too thin, another miscarriage could occur.  J found an article that explains it in more detail: http://www.drmalpani.com/thinlining.htm.  It won't affect egg retrieval but may delay the transfer date.  
I missed Dr. M's call because I left my phone on silent...argh!  I have questions.  I got upset and discouraged by this news.  Suddenly, fear, worry and discouragement set in.  After a good cry and praying with J, I was better and we went for a walk at the Farm park.  This is such a roller coaster ride.  We're hoping my lining will thicken within a day or two.  I will be seen again tomorrow for more blood tests and ultrasound and pray for better news.

On a positive note, my estrogen level rose significantly to 538.  Follicles are moving along nicely with 2 eggs at 17 mm and the rest are undersized and need some more time. 

287

is today's estrogen level.  Earlier this week, my estrogen level was 77 and ovaries were just starting to wake up.  We go again tomorrow morning for ultrasound and blood work at 8am.  We walked into a skeleton crew at the doctor's office when it's usually bustling with women waiting to be seen, but it is Saturday.  Dr. M said I have 9 or 10 growing eggs and he'll see how to move forward after tomorrow's appointment.  On Thursday, I had to order some more meds which cost an additional $785.36 because it took a little longer for my ovaries to wake up.    The additional cost was unexpected, but it's well worth it.  Just wish we had a heads up about the possibility of ordering more meds so we could be prepared.  But, it is what it is.  The shots will end soon and the reality of what this upcoming week will be like is starting to sink in.  We're hopeful, yet fearful of more disappointment and loss.  In the meantime, were trusting in the midst of uncertainty.

If you're reading this, yes, you!  I'd really appreciate some quotes and bible verses I can meditate on in the comments box.  I'll copy them down onto a post-it and stick the words of encouragement around the house.  You'll hold me accountable to doing that.  Thanks!